Isaacs Meowmy asked:
I am just recently engaged and my FH and I are planning our wedding for the spring of 2009, because by then all debts from college should be paid off and we should have enough money saved. Since it is still a bit of a ways off when should I actually start doing stuff to get ready for the wedding? I have pretty much planned out the entire thing, I know what I want, I just need to reserve spaces and contact vendors. How long should I wait before I start doing this? My FH also keeps asking about bridesmaids. He has his grooms men already picked out and I know I want my 2 very close cousins as bridesmaids but I have no clue about the others, it seems like ever since we announced the engagement every girl I have ever known wants to be my best friend! Considering my wedding isnt until 2009 how long do I have before I need to have my wedding party decided?
My fiance has 5 groomsmen picked out which is such a strain on me. I will sound like such a loser but Im not close with any of my friends or atleast not close enough to consider them for bridesmaids.Im just not a social person, I prefer doing stuff with my family. I know I want my cousins because we’ve always been close and always will but as for everyone else I have no idea. And I already have people trying to guilt me into picking them one in particular that introduced my fiance and I. We’re not close and to be quite honest shes a really lousy friend but shes already saying that she should be in it because she introduced us and she is my FHs very close friend and if shes not in the wedding party shell stop talking to me! Im already stressing out about this and its like 2 years away!
Sign Up Today & Get 50 FREE Prints
I am just recently engaged and my FH and I are planning our wedding for the spring of 2009, because by then all debts from college should be paid off and we should have enough money saved. Since it is still a bit of a ways off when should I actually start doing stuff to get ready for the wedding? I have pretty much planned out the entire thing, I know what I want, I just need to reserve spaces and contact vendors. How long should I wait before I start doing this? My FH also keeps asking about bridesmaids. He has his grooms men already picked out and I know I want my 2 very close cousins as bridesmaids but I have no clue about the others, it seems like ever since we announced the engagement every girl I have ever known wants to be my best friend! Considering my wedding isnt until 2009 how long do I have before I need to have my wedding party decided?
My fiance has 5 groomsmen picked out which is such a strain on me. I will sound like such a loser but Im not close with any of my friends or atleast not close enough to consider them for bridesmaids.Im just not a social person, I prefer doing stuff with my family. I know I want my cousins because we’ve always been close and always will but as for everyone else I have no idea. And I already have people trying to guilt me into picking them one in particular that introduced my fiance and I. We’re not close and to be quite honest shes a really lousy friend but shes already saying that she should be in it because she introduced us and she is my FHs very close friend and if shes not in the wedding party shell stop talking to me! Im already stressing out about this and its like 2 years away!
Sign Up Today & Get 50 FREE Prints
11 Comments on “Choosing Bridesmaids and wedding planning help?”
You can track this conversation through its atom feed.
Six to eight months before the wedding is PLENTY of time to ask your BMs. If you think you’ll still be close in two years, then you’ll still be close enough to ask them later on. Don’t let anyone pressure you into making decisions now.
While it’s fine to plan out what you want ahead of time, remember that styles change, and your taste may change, so don’t set anything in stone until about a year before the wedding. If you want to get married at a very popular church or have your reception at a popular venue, you may need to book a little further out, but other than that, don’t make any decisions until you get closer to the wedding.
Also, things you want now may not be available in two years, or something you think is a fun unique idea now may end up being overdone and you won’t want to do it anymore. Keep your wedding planning materials flexible – collect all the ideas and photos you want, but don’t make any definite plans until the wedding gets closer. Nothing is so stressful that you’ll need more than a year to plan it.
Posted on November 9, 2009 at 2:26 pm.
I would wait until much closer to the wedding to pick out your wedding party — friendships change over time, and 2 years is a long time! You can certainly book the halls and so forth next year, but don’t be too much in a hurry. Start with research whenver, but don’t make it two years of marriage stress!
Posted on November 12, 2009 at 6:22 pm.
Its never too early to plan for a wedding becasue when it gets closer to the date all the things you have done now will help you in the long run, and all girls once they hear wedding they want to be part of it! I would only choose ppl that you completly trust.
Posted on November 14, 2009 at 2:15 pm.
I would give yourself around 9-12 months prior to set your wedding party. Start checking with spaces at the end of this year. Popular choices fill up fast! Vendors I would check in with a year in advance, and they will tell you if they need you to call back closer to the date. I would recommend keeping a three ring binder with brochures, calendar and notes so you can keep everything together. Start looking for dresses 9-12 months before the wedding in case you have trouble finding one you like. Always plan on back-ups for bridal party, vendors and locations. Strange things can and will happen. I had two bridemaids back out a month before the wedding, so plan ahead. As far as who to pick, make sure you choose people who are already close to you, and who are going to remain close. College buddies are not always the best choice unless you are extremely close and they are remaining in the area. Also, ask your fiance about the number of groomsmen. Does he feel he needs to have several people for a particular reason? If any of them have spouses or fiancees, you may consider asking them to participate if you’re stuck. Best of luck!
Posted on November 16, 2009 at 9:18 pm.
I would definitely wait until closer to the wedding because they are right that relationships do change and evolve, so don’t commit yourself now to something you might not want in a couple of years because it would bother you on your wedding day, and you want things to be as perfect as possible on your special day.
Also, please realize that being a bridesmaid is expensive. I don’t mind paying out all the expenses if I really am a lifelong or very close friend, but I would resent being asked to shell out all that money is I were just a casual friend. Some people, like me, would much rather attend a wedding than have to shell out the money for a dress, hair, shoes, shower, and then still shell out the money for a nice gift.
It’s not that I’m cheap but I just prefer all those extra expenses for someone I’m really super close with. I **** being part of those huge wedding parties where you know that bride is really only close friends with one or two and the rest are just for show or to please family members.
Just my humble opinion.
Robin
Posted on November 17, 2009 at 1:10 am.
I would book your reception hall, church about a year ahead of time. And like the previous posts wait to ask about bridesmaids. If anyone asks why you havent decided just say the two of you are enjoying being engaged and will be handling the wedding details later on.
Plus when I started my wedding planning…I changed my colors, favors all that stuff twice!!! So I would start browsing here and there. I always went thru and started getting ideas. Have fun! I loved planning my wedding. And congrats!!!
Posted on November 17, 2009 at 2:09 am.
No need to rush.
Only thing I might consider is to reserve a hall in order to lock-in the 2007 rates. That, and if your church/site is very popular for weddings, you may find that it books a year in advance.
That’s pretty much it – things can change a lot, and friends that you are close to now can change jobs, have kids, or emigrate to Sweden in the next two years. Like you said, every one wants to be your best friend right now – see who is still here in six months. Photographers can go out of business, and swarms of killer bees can decimate the Calla Lily supplies. Don’t worry about all the vendors. Maybe pick a date and reserve the big stuff, but you have tons of time to fret about this stuff… in the Fall of 2008.
Posted on November 17, 2009 at 5:32 pm.
I would go ahead and book your locations once you have decided what type of wedding you would like. I’d wait until about 1 year out for the other vendors. We are planning our wedding over a 10-month time period and only the locations had conflicts or earlier requests. With so much time, you could easily change your mind! As for bridesmaids, I’d wait unless you are having all family. Maybe only ask your maid of honor now. You won’t really need them to help with planning and such until about 6-8 months out and your hesitation is valid. If I was getting married 2 years ago, at least 2 of my 5 bridesmaids would be different. It will be nice for you to have at least one of them living wherever you will be in 2 years.
Good luck with all your planning!
Posted on November 18, 2009 at 12:28 pm.
I made the error of acting too quickly picking a maid of honor (haven’t decided the bridesmaids yet, or if I’ll have any – small wedding).
Now my former MoH are no longer friends and I had to ask another friend (I made sure to let her know she was not second best – but she’s a good friend and didn’t take it that way).
So since you’re so far off, don’t ask ANYONE yet. I’d hunt around for venues, favors, dresses (but don’t buy anything yet) and wait on picking your wedding party until you’re about a year or less away. Keep in mind that your friends are going to have to have money to buy their dresses, so don’t cut them too short on time.
Posted on November 18, 2009 at 1:57 pm.
Don’t ask anyone to be in your wedding until about six months before hand. Just go through the question in this wedding section to see all the girls who want to change their maids because they don’t talk to them anymore. Just keep telling everyone you haven’t picked a party yet. Your fiance has totally jumped the gun. You would be amazed at how much things can change in 2 years time.
I’m not sure when you need to book your church and hall and other vendors. That depends on where you’re having your wedding. On the East Coast things can get booked 2 years in advance. Some places weddings can be planned in just few months time. Talk to the vendors and ask them. Sometimes if you book early they’ll give you this year’s rate. Good luck.
Posted on November 20, 2009 at 6:15 pm.
Move your wedding closer, girl. It only takes 8 months to a year max to plan a wedding! Don’t choose your attendants now, things change way too quickly these days with friendships, etc. I only know this from reading questions of other brides-to-be on here who have asked girls to be bridesmaids, then ran into trouble with them not being such good friends after a year or so.
Posted on November 24, 2009 at 4:30 am.